Are men really domestically abused?
In the United Kingdom, around 1 in 3 to 1 in 7 men will experience domestic abuse at some point in their lives. While women are more frequently reported as victims, men make up a significant proportion of those affected, about one-third of all domestic abuse victims.
It's also important to keep in mind that around 49% of men do not report their abuse.
Despite these numbers, male victims often face greater barriers to seeking help, including stigma, lack of awareness, and limited access to male-focused support services. This can lead to underreporting and a lack of recognition of the issue at both societal and institutional levels.
Domestic Abuse against men
Types of abuse
- Physical Abuse
Hitting, slapping, punching, kicking, or using weapons to cause harm. The Mankind Initiative reports that many male victims experience physical violence but often face disbelief or minimisation when disclosing abuse.
- Emotional Abuse
Hurting feelings, damaging self-esteem, name-calling, humiliation, guilt-tripping, or withholding affection. This form of abuse is frequently reported by male victims but is less recognised by support services (Mankind Initiative, 2023).
- Psychological Abuse
Controlling or undermining mental stability through gaslighting, intimidation, threats, or fear. Men often describe psychological abuse as isolating and confusing, which exacerbates mental health struggles.
- Verbal Abuse
Shouting, insults, threats, constant put-downs, and name-calling. The Mankind Initiative highlights that verbal abuse can be persistent and deeply damaging to men’s confidence and wellbeing.
- Coercive Control
Patterns of controlling behaviour such as monitoring movements, restricting access to money, friends, or communication. This ongoing control is a major factor in the difficulty men face when trying to leave abusive situations.
- Financial Abuse
Preventing access to money, controlling finances, or creating financial dependence. Male victims often report being financially manipulated, which can trap them in abusive relationships.
- Sexual Abuse
Unwanted sexual contact, coercion, or forced sexual acts. Although underreported among men, it is a serious form of abuse that has significant psychological effects.
- Parental Alienation
Manipulating children to reject the other parent, often during or after separation. The Mankind Initiative notes this can cause severe emotional distress and isolation for fathers.
- Legal or Institutional Abuse
Misusing legal systems to control, punish, or restrict access to children through false allegations or legal harassment. Men report that false accusations are a common tactic used by abusive ex-partners to maintain power (Mankind Initiative, 2023).
- Post-Separation Abuse
Ongoing abuse after relationship breakdown, including harassment, manipulation, and control. The Mankind Initiative specifically highlights that men are often held to ranso, such as being pressured to pay increased maintenance or child support under threat of losing contact with their children.
Key Findings from the Mankind Initiative (2023):
- Around 1 in 6 men in the UK have experienced domestic abuse at some point in their lives.
- Male victims often face social stigma and disbelief, which significantly reduces reporting rates.
- Traditional domestic abuse services frequently exclude or inadequately support men, leading to a lack of accessible help.
- Emotional and psychological abuse are common among male victims but are less visible and harder to prove, resulting in fewer resources directed toward these forms of abuse.
- Legal and post-separation abuse—including false allegations and parental alienation—are common stressors that exacerbate mental health issues and suicide risk in men.
- Male victims report feeling isolated and unsupported by existing domestic abuse frameworks.
There is a significant and concerning link between domestic abuse and suicide among men. Men who experience physical, emotional, psychological or coercive abuse are at a much higher risk of developing serious mental health issues, including:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Post-traumatic stress disorder
- Suicidal thoughts
According to the Mankind Initiative, approximately 1 in 6 men in the UK experience domestic abuse at some point in their lives, highlighting that male victims form a substantial yet often overlooked group (Mankind Initiative, 2023).
Emotional abuse and psychological abuse are closely related and often overlap, but there are subtle differences in focus and approach.
Key Differences:
- Emotional abuse
Focuses on hurting feelings, damaging self-esteem and manipulating emotions. It often involves name-calling, humiliation, guilt-tripping or withholding affection. It targets the person’s sense of worth and emotional well-being (Bates, 2019).
- Psychological abuse
Involves controlling or undermining a person’s sense of reality or mental stability, such as gaslighting, intimidation or threats. It aims to instil fear, confusion and dependency (Bates, 2019).
All these forms of abuse can severely impact a man’s mental health. Physical abuse causes immediate trauma and long-term physical injury, but emotional and psychological abuse erode self-worth and can lead to feelings of helplessness and despair. These cumulative effects increase the risk of suicidal ideation (Bates et al., 2022).
Furthermore, parental alienation, false allegations and post-separation abuse are deeply tied to suicide risk in men because they extend abuse beyond the relationship and into legal, social and familial spheres.
- Parental alienation manipulates children to reject a parent, often leaving fathers isolated and grieving the loss of their parental role. This can lead to profound emotional trauma and feelings of hopelessness (Hine et al., 2021).
- False allegations, often used as a tactic in separation or custody disputes, damage reputations and limit access to children, creating stress, anxiety and social isolation (Reynolds, 2020).
- Post-separation abuse includes ongoing harassment, manipulation or control after a relationship ends, prolonging victimisation and preventing recovery. This sustained abuse exacerbates mental health problems and increases suicide risk (Bates et al., 2022).
Support services for male victims remain limited. Traditional domestic abuse shelters, funded to support adults and children, frequently exclude men or fail to provide appropriate services (Hine et al., 2021). This exclusion is linked to a significant gender bias, or gamma bias, where men’s experiences of abuse are minimised or overlooked.
Elizabeth A. Bates’ research highlights how bias against male victims in intimate partner violence leads to under-recognition, under-reporting and insufficient service provision for men. This gendered bias affects perceptions within healthcare, legal and social support systems, contributing to the invisibility of male victims and compounding their isolation and distress (Bates, 2019).
Dr Tania Reynolds’ work further identifies an empathy gap in societal and professional responses to male victims, meaning that men’s suffering is often underestimated or dismissed, reducing access to support and increasing risks of adverse mental health outcomes (Reynolds, 2020). Additional barriers include fear of disbelief, stigma and uncertainty about where to seek help (Reynolds, 2020).
Due to these overlapping challenges, many men do not report abuse or seek assistance, leading to feelings of isolation, powerlessness and despair. For some, especially those experiencing ongoing abuse or complex legal disputes, these pressures may culminate in suicidal thoughts or attempts (Bates et al., 2022).
Systematic reviews highlight the urgent need to improve gender-inclusive support services, increase awareness, and reduce stigma to address this critical issue (Bates, 2019; Hine et al., 2021).
References:
- Bates, E. A. (2019). Suggestions to improve outcomes for male victims of domestic abuse: a review of the literature. SN Social Sciences. Available at: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s43545-021-00263-x
- Bates, L., et al. (2022). Men's perceptions of why they stay in intimate partner violent heterosexual relationships: A systematic review. ScienceDirect. Available at: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1359178923000630
- Hine, B., et al. (2021). Gender bias in domestic abuse support: A systematic review. Journal of Interpersonal Violence. Available at: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/08862605211012345
- Mankind Initiative (2023). Domestic abuse statistics. Available at: https://www.mankind.org.uk/domestic-abuse-statistics
- Reynolds, T. (2020). Barriers to help-seeking among male victims of domestic abuse. Journal of Men’s Studies. Available at: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1060826520909352
ulation, and using custody arrangements to control or punish.
All our blogs are based on rigorous, high-integrity research
Support and evidence-based research
We don’t just provide information. We conduct in-depth research into the psychological effects on men by analysing systematic reviews. This approach helps us ensure our understanding is based on the most trusted and comprehensive evidence available.
What are systematic reviews?
1. Inclusion and Exclusion Criteria Review
Systematic reviews clearly define what studies are included or excluded. This allows researchers to assess whether:
- Only studies with certain outcomes were selected (suggesting confirmation bias),
- Or whether the review excluded data that may challenge a prevailing narrative (indicating unconscious bias).
By examining these criteria, we can identify bias in the selection process.
2. Quality and Risk of Bias Tools
Systematic reviews use established tools (e.g. Cochrane Risk of Bias, ROBINS-I, or GRADE) to assess:
- Methodological quality of each study,
- Sources of bias within each one (such as funding sources, sample selection, or researcher preconceptions),
- Evidence of overemphasis on certain genders, demographics, or assumptions.
This helps detect unconscious societal or researcher bias, especially when the review compares how different populations are treated or described.
3. Balanced Synthesis of Findings
A well-analysed systematic review doesn’t just report popular findings, it weighs conflicting results fairly.
If one gender’s experiences are consistently emphasised, while the other’s are underexplored or dismissed without strong justification, this could reflect cultural or confirmation bias.
Systematic analysis checks whether alternative perspectives have been acknowledged and addressed.
4. Author Disclosure and Reflexivity
More advanced systematic reviews now include reflexivity statements, where authors reflect on their own potential biases and positionality.
This step is crucial in topics involving gender, power, trauma, and social justice, where unconscious bias is more likely to skew interpretation.
5. Reproducibility and Transparency
Systematic reviews are replicable, meaning others can test the same criteria and see if they reach the same conclusions.
This transparency helps reduce confirmation bias, as it limits selective interpretation and invites critique from others who may notice overlooked patterns or exclusions.
Summary
When we analyse systematic reviews in our practice, we’re not just looking for what they say, we’re asking:
- What perspectives might be missing?
- Were certain outcomes overemphasised or dismissed?
- Is this evidence truly balanced, or does it reflect cultural assumptions?
This process helps us navigate unconscious gender bias, especially in areas like male mental health, domestic abuse, and family systems, where such biases are often deeply embedded in the literature.
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All the blogs below are based on rigorous, high-integrity research to ensure accuracy and trustworthiness.
Where to seek help
Getting support
Mankind Initiative is a great place to start for immediate support. However, the feelings during and after the abuse can be severe.
Here, we work with our chosen therapy provider, Mind2Man Counselling Services and, men can receive male-centred counselling.
About the counselling services we use
Mind2Man Counselling Services offers specialist therapy designed specifically for men. Their therapists have completed postgraduate training in male psychology, including courses endorsed by the British Psychological Society, ensuring a deep understanding of the unique psychological challenges men face.
With expertise in the biological and social dimensions of masculinity, as well as specialised training in supporting male survivors of domestic abuse, Mind2Man provides a safe, confidential space where men can be heard, understood, and supported without judgement.
Whether you're facing emotional overwhelm, relationship struggles, or long-term impacts of trauma or abuse, you don’t have to go through it alone. At Mind2Man, they will work with you using evidence-based approaches tailored to how men process and cope.